Choices

It has been a while since I last published a blog. My excuses now all sound a lttle feeble. In my defence, I have not been entirely lazy. I spent hours and hours writing a blog on ‘How to spot a narcissist’ and since I was speaking from a personal experience at the hands of a narcissist and or psychopath (probably both), I decided in the end that I should not publish it. The fear instilled in me for the safety of those nearest and dearest to me is still there after 7 years so why scratch something which does not itch? Suffice to say, I am older and wiser and all you have to do is google ‘narcissist‘ to read similar horror stories to mine, these people are easy to spot once you are aware of the signs. Thankfully a chapter closed and no need to go there. ‘Onwards and Upwards’ as they say.

I had a month in my sunny, spectacular, splendid, superb and stunning South Africa and time simply flew by in a flash! I will come back to you if I think of any more adjectives beginning with an ‘S’ describing my beautiful home.  I flew back to England and treated myself to a lovely day and two nights in London which included an evening at the theatre to see ‘An American in Paris’. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I never stop in London but rather head straight for the beautiful countryside. I so enjoyed the theatre though, it was a combination of dancing, singing, great acting, brilliant ballet and some good humour. My evening at the theatre was preceded by a ‘scampi and chips’ which was the cheapest meal on the menu and it was delicious! I enjoyed a lovely long stroll back to my hotel in the vibrant, colourful and rather exciting streets of London. I think often we are so focused on our goals that we forget to ‘stop and smell the roses’ and yes, for someone who does not usually enjoy big cities, the roses even bloom beautifully in London!

   

South Africa & Mozambique

I was so fortunate to spend an awesome weekend in the Kruger Park with my gorgeous family whom I adore. I don’t take any of these amazing relationships for granted. I know how blessed I am to have both my parents, cousins, a brother & sister who I adore, a niece who is like a daughter to me, a son who is my rock and of course all their significant others who I love dearly. I even get to just love my ‘in-laws’ to bits, who could ask for anything more? The love of family – I believe it is defined by commitment, not just by love alone and I thank the Lord every day of my life for this family of mine!

Time in the bush in Mozambique with two of my favourite people in the world with return flights from Nelspruit to Mozambique with Richard Fair as our Pilot, how lucky am I?  Anti-rhino poaching was a real eye-opener for me and I was amazingly lucky enough to fly in a Bat Hawk with one of these incredible young men who put their lives on the line every day of their lives in order to try and stop rhino poaching. I don’t very often find myself at a loss for words, however, I find trying to describe this experience almost impossible and really worthy of a story all on its own. All in all, I had the most unforgettable time and I got to meet ‘Varkie’ who I instantly fell in love with. The sights and smells of the bush and time spent with one of my dearest friends – Col are all etched in my memory. It is these memories which I draw on for strength to carry on when I feel so homesick I could weep.

I would like to share these two links with you. No longer is anti-poaching something I just gag at annoyingly and scroll past the hideous photographs of the butchered animals on Facebook. It is real and it is very frightening. I am in awe of these people who are so passionate about conserving our precious wildlife. I salute you all. I also discovered that Andrew Pappas manufactures Bat Hawks in Nelspruit! ‘They are ideal for game reserve aerial surveillance where the type is particularly well adapted due to its very slow forward cruising speed, relative silence and stealth characteristics’ (extracted from their website). I cannot remember when last I felt so free, so exhilarated and so alive!

www.iapf.org

www.showme.co.za/nelspruit/lifestyle/bat-hawk-the-family-business-that-really-took-off

 
I spent two of the most enthralling hours of my life up here. They do a grid every day of the entire area to count the rhino
 
Richard Fair – gives so freely of his time to this worthy cause
 
“Varkie” I fell in love
      It is quite hard to believe I have been back in England for 5 weeks already. I have a week break and then head off to Northern Ireland for a month. As I sit here writing, I think about my life and the choices I have made and how all these choices ultimately landed me right here in this sleepy little hollow, in the middle of the Cotswolds in England.  As I look back, I know that they were all MY choices and apparently lessons I needed to learn, I cannot blame anyone for any of the wrong choices I made along the way. The secret of being free is not revenge but being able to let it all go. Healing doesn’t mean it did not happen, it does, however, mean that the damage no longer controls our lives and yes, sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is a complete idiot. (oops that just slipped out)   Till next time! x    

 

10 comments

  1. Sarah says:

    Loved reading your blog Cheryl. You have had lots of lumps and bumps along the way but these have made you stronger and more important have helped shape the beautiful person you have become.
    Love and miss you ,
    Sarah.

  2. anonymous says:

    So enjoyed that. I was similarly in a marriage many years ago with a psycho. Had to retreat to another country. Met the love if my life. Happily married for seventeen years. Tragically he was killed in a freak accident. Left work. Then took up caring. Love it. Due to ill health unable to continue right now. But after many years still cannot forgive or forget the psycho ! Please continue with your blogs. Thanks !

    • Thanks so much for your note. I think only when one has experienced life at the hands of these people can you truly understand. I am so sorry that you had to go through all this. If you ever need to chat please don’t hesitate to contact me, my details are all on my website. Take care and I hope you get well soon. x

  3. Linda Kidd says:

    Hi Cheryl

    Wow you have definitely made lemonade from the lemons life “the idiot” has dealt you. You are one remarkable lady and I just love your positivity! I have just returned from 7 amazing days in London and also went to see the play ” An American in Paris” What a beautiful play! I have come home with sore feet and a happy heart. Take care and can’t wait for your next post. Be blessed xxx

    • Hi Linda!
      You always say the loveliest things, thank you. What a coincidence that you went to see the same play, it was fun wasn’t it. So pleased you enjoyed your time in London. Take care of those sore feet AND your happy heart! How wonderful (for the happy heart that is) Take care xxxx

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